Tuesday, September 11, 2012

..Do looks matter..?part 2

 Sometimes what you see and hear is not exactly as presented it s kinda delusion ..
I generally feel the aggrieved party has some role to play .. before getting hurt .. But case of Raj & kisna everything seemed like kisna was going too fast and took raj for her stride ..but so little I knew .. So I thought of going into more deeper detail knowing why Kisna was so shrewd or is there another person in the picture..

..yesterday I met  that family again...
I asked Raj's mom sitting alone in the porch .. hows everything?
she was little sad and said its all destined I guess ..I dunno why this happened to us.. we are God fearing people..Raj is my only son..I told Raj's mom why don't you talk to girls family back home in India as you come from same town...and this was an arranged marriage.
.. Before moving further with story.. Raj 's parents are not very educated both of them work in a company (night shift)and weekends does catering work from home...  ... Raj is a physio- therapist but right now he has no work is laid-off..
before raj got married ... the parents had high hopes ..thinking one of them will work as both the kids will be professionals so financially they will be better..so Raj's mom can stay at home and help in cooking.. 
but things dint work and girl had her own plans.
... So when I asked Raj's mom ..to talk to kisna's parents she said"..Kisna's Dad says its her wish and we have no say "..But in reality .. they are very poor and her brother had some health issues .. so kisna is sending most of her salary back home .. the same family which was very poor has a better home now and her brother is feeling much better ,,, recently got enrolled in Engineering college... so basically this move she made to get out of the family is to provide shelter and give a better life to her parents and siblings. ... but I said" this could be done here too"she said (rajs mom)she did here too ..sending money back home ..which we dint know .. but then we came to know but still we dint say anything ... but we are her parents too..but it seems its the greed of money that parents have no interest in her personal life .. she is jus 24 yrs and maybe she can remarry  once its all settled back home... according to raj 's mom it seems these dollars helped them a lot.
...I don't know who is wrong here looking at girl (kisna ) and her problems if her family  doesn't have three meals a day .. she maybe right and then  her  sick brother she might need lot of money for his treatment .. and now getting him a professional degree again needs money.. she has sacrificed her own personal life ..its a big thing.....but somewhere I feel when girls get married they have a responsibility towards their in-laws too .. it should be considered as a family too..And people who got him Visa and status .. at-least be obliged .. as this was based on trust.. 
somewhere I feel this could be handled by both partners(husband and wife) in a better way ..and negotiating with each other. ..
it would have kept the family intact...and would have a brighter future...because there is nothing like earning together and helping each other in a family.


Jack said...


I feel that she could have done it by staying with Raj and at the same time met her obligations towards him. Seems she has I, Me and Myself attitude. How I wish you could somehow learn her side also!

Take care

Harman said...

..Yes I agree with you ..uncle ..this is very sorry state of affairs ..employment ,, then poverty ,,and inflation in India makes parents do all that which is beyond control ..But nevertheless ..this will come back in the same way when to take people for your joy ride!

R. Ramesh said...

ya parents are forced to do all that are beyond control to help kids keep pace with modern times..hmm..good one harman..and thanks boss.u have ben such a good friend..

Anupama K. Mazumder said...

Your last line says it all.


Haddock said...

One of the things I always do "listen to both sides of the story" It helps a lot in solving the problem.
On the other hand I know of a few parents who live off their daughter's earnings with no indication of getting her settled down.

Harman said...

@ haddock
so true ,. these parents .. are jus so lazy and look for easy money.