Saturday, January 14, 2012

bride or bribe?

 

...Dowry is a social stigma,it  leads to many other problems... female infanticides is one among them ...
why blame anyone..we are the people who make this and later repent on mistakes.
people say with confidence ..nowadays things have changed and nobody asks for dowry N people are educated and know their options But  let me tell you we pretend to be blind and want to see jus what we like even after all that happenings around us..
Indian marriages are a million dollar wedding at least...there are no ends of show-offs and attitudes ... A wedding in India which happened to be in Times Of India newspaper..created lot of noise back home...since I am frm ludhiana punjab.

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2010-10-28/chandigarh/28245064_1_jeweller-gold-coins-groom


"Eleven solitaire rings costing Rs 1.5 lakh each, 7 BMW cars, 11 Tag Heuer watches, Raymond’s' woollen suit lengths worth Rs 2 lakh each — this is not the inventory of any upscale store in a posh neighbourhood! These super-expensive status symbols are being lapped up by the rich and opulence-crazy Punjabi parents to be given as gifts to close relatives of the families of their daughters' in-laws".

"This year, a prominent industrialist, who is marrying off his daughter next month, has ordered 11 solitaires worth Rs 1.5 lakh each for the nanas, dadas, mamas, chachas, tayas and their spouses, besides the parents and siblings of the groom. "When this gentleman can book a special necklace for his daughter worth Rs 2.5 crore, then these rings are just 'small change' for him," said the jeweller of a landmark shop in Fountain Chowk in Ludhiana. "Diamond rings are very common for 'milnis'. But, for a change, this indulgent father has booked solitaires," he said."
"Four hundred watches have reportedly been bought by an industrialist, from an internationally recognized watch brand in the city, with a collective price tag of over Rs 14 lakh, to be given as return gifts. "Silver plates, silver vase and other such items are also in vogue. Gold coins with chains is another trendy return gift."
 ....I mean its total BS (bull shit) seems like bribing the family to keep their daughter happy...
 ....last yr one of our friends had a problem n they had to fly back to india where their daughter was married... the reason was dowry ..as the trend of dowries in india are so prevalent and when parents are in US the in-laws expect more... n more..( as if $s grow in backyard)
Looking at these Huge humongous weddings ..I wud ask people ..is it right??


why make those girls helpless who are  married or getting married?

21 comments:

Amrit said...

Both sides need to say NO. Girls need to say NO too.

Rachna said...

So true!

Jack said...

Harman,

We are to blame for such customs. It is only we who can change it. It is something like I have it so I will flaunt it. I will call it a vulgar display of money. When our daughter was to be married I had made it very clear that I will do what is correct but if there is any demand I will call off the wedding even at the last minute and our daughter was with me on this. On our son's marriage I had told our DiL's father that we have NO Demand and to keep the whole thing simple.

Take care

Bikramjit said...

waste of money.. the money can be better utilised .. and the amount of food that will go waste in this wedding ..
when people are dieing of hunger

Bikram's

Bikramjit said...

ewaste of money.. the money can be better utilised .. and the amount of food that will go waste in this wedding ..
when people are dieing of hunger


Ps. Harman take this word verification out.. gets difficult writing a comment using a fone :)

Bikram's

Rahul Bhatia said...

It is the culture of show off or else no one would know who gives what as long as they can afford ! It is not really the custom that binds but tendency to show off big time!!Well written!

Harman said...

@Uncle jack
very true! its total bullshitting n cheap show off... I would say whts the guarantee that girl would be happy and other party would not ask for more...
I respect wht you did and wish more n more people to come forward and say "NO to DOWRY"
"this kind of money never stays its basically money from illegal means n not hard earned money"

The Beautifier said...

I hate the dowry system...total waste of money....

Mishi said...

Ahh this is an issue that is most debatable in our part of the world and yet we ignore that..though by the time,the youth is realizing the need to get rid of it yet this is too deep rooted to be demolished...the main responsibility goes to the boys.they should take a stand..but what to say of them! these days if a guy is well-established,their parents make demands of dowry as their right..the more the guy is earning..the more their demands list is longer...as if they are selling their son..the girl side is helpless in this matter..what can they do?! they cant tell the boy side that they are against this custom ..every parents want to see their daughter getting married..and they try to go with this stupid custom just to make sure their daughter gets the respect in the In-Laws..but I tell you what nothing is gurantee to the happiness..I have seen girls suffering even after all that heavy dowry...for me,the girl can say NO to the dowry if she is going for the love marriage,as she already has understanding with her husband to be..but she cant say much otherwise..I wish we get rid of this soon.

Urmi said...

I hate dowry system and there should not be any dowry system in India. I don't believe that giving dowry is a system but I feel that the people are greedy who takes dowry. Wonderful post.

Dimple Maheshwari said...

gud

Alka Gurha said...

Some people just dont understand...young people who are getting married have to take a stand.
It is such a waste.
BTW the bride in your post is stunning.

Harman said...

@Amrit...
its not possible for gurls to say no!
I mean who listens to them??
and wud her in-laws honour her for that??
basically society needs to be reformed!

Harman said...

@rachna
:) welcome!

Harman said...

@bik..
yes such big waste of money..
I agree n I wud remove word verification for sure!

Harman said...

@rahul,,
yes Show offs!
thats wht pnjab is all about,,,
see how they spend money!

Harman said...

@beautifier..
very true!
I think its jus show off n cheapness!

Harman said...

@mishi!
Love your comment "DIL SE"
Arre mish trust me..its like selling their son in market ..Rates for docs ,engineers, nris ..are SET .I was surprised ..Gov is doin nothin Cuz its all bribed ..n politicians n celebs attend these marriages!
Gosh! its such waste of resources ..poor are sleeping on streets in cold n these shameless creatures have money to burn!

Harman said...

@urmi..
I agree..I think dowry system was there before I was born ..its strange its still goin very strong!

Harman said...

@dimple..
thanks for visiting hope to see ya more.

Harman said...

@alka..
Agree..yes very true!
thanks!...