Wednesday, June 8, 2011

hospice.

this  women I met ..an incredible personality ,very calm and poised ,a cute smile on her face.. there was a certain charisma in her I felt But when I asked her profession I was surprised as she said "I work in hospice and I am the last person before they see the creator."
Angela is from phillipines ,a Nurse(RN) working with a team of doctors  in hospice.

I was quite taken aback and kept thinking about her ,one day she dropped at my work place with her husband ,An American guy maybe in  sixties whom she was married to...
I asked Angela about her nature of job and how she has this immense power to see someone dying in front of her.
before I started talking to Angela ,Alex (her husband) started talking to me about his past which was also very sad how when his first wife died his kids wanted him to go for assisted living and sell his house so that the money could be divided among his kids. Alex has a big house and some luxury cars he said ,But kids wanted dad to spend time with his age group and leave money for them,he then decided to remarry and look for companion at the age of sixty and live again rather then getting into depression and feeling old before age, this was also to teach kids a lesson and marry this wonderful women with incredible qualities.


hospice.
Hospice is traditionally an option for people whose life expectancy is six months or less, and involves palliative care (pain and symptom relief) rather than ongoing curative measures, enabling you to live your last days to the fullest, with purpose, dignity, grace, and support. 
Angela works for hospice and terminally ill patients where there is no hope but aim is to only minimising their pain in their last few months of life.she bathes them ,cleans them ,even  tells them stories making them smile and bids them goodbye.


 I asked her"what are patients reaction when they know their days are numbered?
she said"most of the time patients knows about the last day and I try to ease the pain and  comfort them  as directed by Doctors But there have been times when I had to say please don't hold yourself everything will be alright here."and see them leaving the world.

I asked her "do you take anti -depressants yourself after seeing all this?"
she said"yes at times ,when I am too attached to someone I cannot sleep"

I asked "how often do you see all this?
she said "my last patient was in sep 2010 he was eighty seven years old
but I can never forget him ,I use to clean him everyday and he would offer me a chocolate bar at times (snicker).On his last day when I went to clean him after death I found one of chocolate bars in my gloves ,I was in tears."

I asked "do their kids or relatives visit them?"
she said "yes they do "

I asked "what is the percentage of male and females in hospice?
she said"seventy percent are males and thirty percent females, most of the time daughters look after their mother and would give them treatment at home."

I asked "so who is in the cue now?"
I have  hundred and four year old bed ridden guy who has lot of problems so it can be any-time from now.

its very difficult to see some one dealing with pain and leaving the world right in-front of you specially if its part of the job part  and doing it more often is something which is beyond words that can't be described.I had been to hospice once but couldn't spend more then half an hour ,with pain and suffering I could see all over and people in cue for their turn ,its pathetic ...everyone has to go but the reasons are made by Almighty..

hats off to these people who take care of these patients and see them every day.

49 comments:

A said...

Made me very very sad. yes they do a great job but I do not want to be old

Harman said...

@A..trust me ,It was scary for me too wht if...tomorrow it happens to me?
I wud rather leave world before landing up there...
...everyone has to get old ,but to remain healthy is more important.

Uma said...

i cannot even imagine living my life , always thinking of death coming soon.. sad for those people who have to go through this..

Saf ♥ said...

I hate places like Hospices, it makes me sick to see people in such a state, especially when these people are most fragile...

I've never been to a hospice (and never want to either, I don't have the stomach for it and will probably end up in tear...)however, I have volunteered at a nursing home years ago. That was enough to make me cry and I vowed I'd never let my parents live there.

Some of those people had family and others had no one...it was sad to see(but this is the sad truth), I couldn't bear it.

She must have a lot of courage, patience and will power to keep a smile on her face to make these citizens feel a little better each day. I commend her for this.

I love this post,thanks for sharing!

kavita said...

Two days back i read a post on a eighty year old man who plays piano for people living in hospice.It is very sad .
On positive side it is good that they are looked after well .

Renu said...

true..her job is very difficult..whenevr I see all this, I wonder why scientists waste ther time in increasing age expectancy, why not work towards other ways to make life better only.

Jack said...

Harman,

I humbly bow my head to this noble lady. How I wish children could take a lesson or two from the likes of her! Though our children care for us but I do not wish to be a burden on them. I always request God to take me with just one go and not make me linger dependent on others.

Take care

PS : Left reply in my space.

dr.antony said...

At times, we have no options in life.

" Today is the day the Lord has given you,rejoice and be happy"

Bikramjit said...

Nurses do a good great lovely beautiful job, I could never do it ..

but i hate the kids who want parents to go to hospice .. I hope i dont become like that ..

and i always wish for that i wud like to die without being a burden on anyone.. and maybe till i can take care of myself dont want to live tooo long... 65-70 and go went gone :)

Bikram's

R. Ramesh said...

touching post ya:)

R. Ramesh said...

touching post ya:)

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

She is a wonderful lady. Her job is seriously dangerous.

Harman said...

@Uma...we should consider ouself very lucky and enjoy these moments with our hubbies :)

Kiran Bajaj Sawhney said...

thanks for your comment
Love your blog.
Can we follow each other?

http://www.kiransawhney.com

Harman said...

@saf...Dear..thats what makes us learn to respect and take care of parents ,But sometimes things are different ...nursing homes are also same..same suffering and agony everywhere..enjoy the moments when we are healthy keeping no grudge for anyone...
thanks for your lovely comment.

Harman said...

@kavita..yes dear I do agree...they have their company ...but no family ..its all part of life ..

Harman said...

@renu..I really liked your comment..if thats the end of life why do we have to live that long?
again its a destiny!

Harman said...

@dr anthony..yes I agree when a person gets out of optionm this is the last resort!

Harman said...

@ bikram...I can understand but I could never be a nurse or doctor..I cant see pain leave alone bearing it...
In india scenario is same too ..I visited one of the old homes (ludhiana)in india too..its made next to the cemetery..adjoining wall ..it was sick...
...nobody should get into that...kinda atmosphere..enjoy life buddy ..as we are healthy.

Harman said...

@ramesh..yes it is..sad!but thats the truth!!

Harman said...

@abhilash...yes she is wonderful person to make people smile in pain ,giving courage to face death,its part of her job...very few people do that with dedication.
thanks .

Harman said...

@kiran..thanks..yes ..we can..

Thinking said...

hmm....she is really a great lady...

Harman said...

@thinking..yes..true..gr8 in every sense.

Isabel said...

such a sad job

STRANGER said...

Very encouraging. The world is never shortage of nice ppl.

STRANGER said...

There's great message attached to it.

Tomz said...

Great woman..I'm surprised that humans like her are still living on earth..

GardenLane said...

Hospices are not just for old, nursing homes are for older people who need care for day to day life. Hospices are for people who are terminally ill, such in case of life threating diseases, cancer,old age, when the end is near, in terms of keeping the comfort with medications. They donot prolong life, they just keep it comfortable, till one meets their end. Sure one needs a brave heart to survive in that environment. I am surprised to word "Hate", here, as I think it is actually dislike. For the people who gasp at its mention, remember, every one (most)go to end and live their share of pain/happiness.
Most important is to keep the end in perspective and appreciate health, youth, joy, happiness and family while we have it in our hay days.

Harman said...

@isabel..yep..its sad ,but its true ..everyone has to do one or other thing for living Angela choose to take the pain of others and get blessings in return ,its priceless.

Harman said...

@ stranger..good to see you here..yes there is a message attached ,live life and help others we never know the end results...
keep in touch.

Harman said...

@tomz..yes...I agree.. very few of us can take pain of others ...but then very few are strong emotionally ,person like me starts crying if someone gets a shot...
hats off to this women.

Harman said...

@ gardenlane...
I really love the explanation you have given here ,so valid ...every word makes sense,God forbid but why would anyone keep themselves there in hospice,its medical help for terminally ill or sick people ...sometimes at home its not possible,so Hospice are made...nobody knows the end.
thanks dear for your lovely comment.

Kiran Bajaj Sawhney said...

Thanks for your comment. Am following you.

Chakoli said...

Ahhhh.... your reactions when u knw smebdy is abt to leave is something nobody cud describe... u feel sympathising him but then u want him to feel strong...

THoughtful post :)

Alka Gurha said...

Its scary and sad...but reality.
Hats off, applause and standing ovation for the lady.... I can never do that or I will be depressed for life.

Harman said...

@alka..yes very true..I cant do that too ..otherwise I wont be able to live..seeing death more often is something I jus can think off ,think of people who go through and see them dying..

Harman said...

@chakoli..yes..think about people who see and go through this in their professional life.

Harman said...

@kiran..
thanks dear.

Chakoli said...

HEy,

Thx for ur comments...

I have stopped updating my poems blog, now I just blog at other (withpoems) as well

http://life-fun-pleasure.blogspot.com/

Take Care

Kiran Bajaj Sawhney said...

thanks for your lovely comments

Rachna said...

First time here and this post was so touching. To tell you frankly, even nurses in ordinary hospitals strike me as extraordinary. What an amazing dedication they have to their vocation. They do the work we shirk even for our loved ones with such kindness and gentleness. They have beautiful smiles and hearts. Those in the hospice are doing an even bigger service to others. Hats off to them!

The Beautifier said...

I felt very sad after reading this post, especially the chocolate bar incident filled my eyes with tears...

Hats off to these people who work in hospice!!

STRANGER said...

I'd love to go wrong.......I'm afraid we are inching towards old-age-home/hospice.

What's the way out ?

Harman said...

@chokoli..thanks:)
your poems are worth the comments.

Harman said...

@Rachna yes ,very true...its a difficult task ,nurses in hospice have a brave heat and kind soul.
thanks.

Harman said...

@asian beautifier..yes ..its sad...it shows emotional attachment of those people.
Its a tough job.

Harman said...

@stranger..there is no way out ,I wish I knew...if one is terminally sick has to go to Hospice there is no option ...for old homes/or assisted living its fate my dear friend ..kids you cant vouch on them even after good family values....
....if the kids are good then also ...you never know ...lets hope we stay healthy and look after us not a burden on anyone...
:)

Shadow of my life said...

Hi Harman,
I was really sad after reading this and little scared too and yes the lady, undoubtedly is an angel who look after the patients who require love and care. Hats off to her courage.