Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Graduation parties.

 
....Looking at the graduation parties I always felt why people do that?I mean after high school (which is considered to be graduate) a party is thrown .Is it necessary?...
  A Kid and his/her accomplishments  are mentioned on a slide show with a formal speech by friends and relatives and some favourite moments discussed ....  a formal speech then by the kid thanking everyone for their support...
 this will be later followed by some song or dance by the  friends and then dinner and open dance which goes up to maybe three am.
I grew up in India ,always a bright student even a topper in my college ,But my parents never threw lavish parties like these in banquet hall,not that they were poor or uneducated but it was not in fashion and graduation meant like after bachelors degree but still that wasn't sufficient..my dad being an Army personnel never believed in throwing parties unless there was any Achievement par excellence and that party would be at home.He always believed in excellence nothing less and people around us (officers)were salaried people too so it was out of question to throw these lavish parties just after high school.
Coming back to graduation parties after high school its very common in US,this was the third party in a row I attended last weekend(I missed two earlier) .last graduation party I attended was some years back those kids had gone to Med-school and are now doing residency very soon they will be physicians,I asked a parent once "is it necessary to do this(graduation party)?  she said" its basically encouraging the kid once a life time to throw these parties and publically acknowledging there achievements cause lifestyle in US is different,once they are Adults they have their own lives and set of professional friends and then its just marriage after that" .....
...to me it appears to be peer pressure as its popular and made mandatory by Americans which is followed by Desi's too..Back home  I have yet to see any graduation party after high school ..what if the kid is not able to complete med-school or law-school or any other ?why not throw a party once the majoring is done and acknowledge this publically
or are they broke after med-school expenses?
:)

25 comments:

Mishi said...

now this was something that we used to debate about in our university days..as one of our frends had her early education from U.S,,,she used to tell us all the time how pple throw graduation parties there and how the kids are encourged and blah blah,,,,

we always told her that we simply dont have the custom for it here,,then not every one can afford such parties..but there is no harm if you could afford one..its all about availability of funds and consent for it...I mean it should be like this..if you want to throw a graduation party for your kid and you have funds too...go ahead! its a must then...but there should not be any social pressure involve ..we already have too many pushy customs around..

A said...

How come you know so many parents with kids completing high school?

My impression was you are pretty young...

I did not get a single invite of high school graduation.

Anyway, enjoy the parties....

Simply Speaking "A" Simple
Blogger

Harman said...

@A...yes Pretty and young Both :)thanks for the compliment :))
why we cant have older friends?
my kids are very young ...fifth grade graduation I will throw party and invite you...(thats also graduation here)and your family after two years..
But right now I am surprised by these graduation parties.

Harman said...

@mishi..Yes I agree dear..
these are rich spoilt brats and parents to pamper.

A said...

Harman,

That is a good mix of words. I did not realize that interpretation.:))))

I saw pictures of your son and your husband so I had an idea.

Well about parties, pretty much every weekend we have two parties. My wife has a party to go tomorrow i.e. Thursday...it is not even weekend. Reason for Thursday party:- People are busy with other parties on weekend. :)))

Simply Speaking "A" Simple Blogger

ಅಶ್ವಿನಿ/ Ashwini said...

What I've thouhgt about this is : In India we do have ceremonies and various functions every now and then. Its a reason for social gathering and to catch up with friends and family. But in the west not much of these celebrations are there hence they come up with these kinda reasons to meet up.

On a lighter note, just keep yourself rocking at the parties, why think about the reason... :)

Mishi said...

@A...you are so right! I thought the same when I read this..she sounds so young but then I recalled how she showed us her cute young kid's photos in a post..remember?she truly is young.:)
@harman..no there is nothing bad in having older frends then you..I had them all my life..its fun hanging around with older frends..you learn a lot:-)

STRANGER said...

Organising party is part of life of well to do families; they’re always in search of opportunity to celebrate. There is no harm in it except the fact that it indirectly puts pressure on those invitees who are not financially sound but taunted to do similar things.

Rachna said...

Yes, I find it ridiculous the concept. Perhaps, you are right that they are on their own or that they are broke after actual majoring :). These days we have graduation day in schools in India when kids go from KG to Primary but luckily no parties. The whole party thing just does not cut ice for a mere graduation. A treat out with friends, however, is perfectly acceptable :).

Thinking said...

hmm...thought provoking indeed...

Well...here in myu beloved Country too...we are not familiar with these kind of parties...

But I do remember...when I was only in 4 class...my elder brother was first in his Matric and his photo published in newspapers so my relatives came with flowers and my mother cooked pleasingly for all the guests....

May be...its to show how proud one parent can feel about his/her son/daughter on completing graduation...? What else?

kavita said...

Well it is very common here in part of India where i am living.Parents celebrate success of their kid and we do end up getting such invites.Most of the parties are a small get together of family and friends.Kids feel encouraged i guess.

Bikramjit said...

have fun and enjoy the parties .. yes in india we did not have all this.. :)

but then in india anytime is good time for a PARTY... here they need excuses he he he he .. thats my way of thinking



Bikram's

zzz said...

I grew up in India, just like you did, no celebration of any kind, even if I was topper, or first 10 ranks in entrance.

I think parents donot acknowledge kid's achievements in India, unless someone becoems a doctor and earns lots of money, that too, in terms of giving back to them. We taught to trust, respect and never question our parents in Indis, mostly by brainwashing, not by reasoning. I never want my kids to do that, I want them to be able to question me and ask, if something they thing is not right.

Kid's achievements are amazing, no matter what age they are, and celebration doesnot make them any less or demotivate them. It is just a way of life here and they know that they are loved and cared for. Indian way of ignoring kids achievements is not the only way to encourgae kids by deprivation of celebration and display. I was so proud of my son for finishing pre-school and entering into Kindergarden. I wanted to celebrate that. I cried through his preschool music performace, and a thought hit me, my parents never even spoke about any of my achievements, even thought they ALWAYS expected best.
Here I wish..it would have felt good to know, that they were so happy, and celebrated me, my achievements.

Harman said...

@ZZZZZ...
thanks for your comment..I appreciate ,BUT :) there is a slight difference in opinion...to my personal experience ..and growing up in india ...parents teach us the family values (respect to eldars, studing and coming up with flying colors,save money for future and trying to excel in life) which is not wrong ,throwing lavish parties jus after high school spending ten to fifteen thousand Dollars for one party in banquet halls and honouring the kid ..may be an encourage ment but let me know ....is it right?? there is long way to go for med-School or law school...let him /her complete it and then honour and throw parties...
other thing..parents ask for money in india once their kids are professional...??
to me ...every person is different and I cannot judge anyone ,all I can say we have to look after our parents who gave birth to us and look after their needs jus as they did when we were kids ...why feel bad? I knew I cried when I didn't get pocket money ..or they didn't take me for vacation!!
its their turn now ...usually ..parents now-days are very educated and well off ..they have their own independence ...never ask for money.
..in the end I wrap it off saying ..its the lifestyle here and we acknowledge our kids achievements cause its in the system ....
My son is goin to kindergarten too this yr ...my older one was Star kid in school for his achievements But I never threw any party!!(read my blog apple-bees)
my hubby completed his masters here ..shining with a G.P.A of 4..my in-laws never threw any party... thou they love and acknowledge it...
so buddy its all personal how you take it...we can pamper the kids as much we want...its all our parenting skills!
thanks..

dr.antony said...

People just need reasons to celebrate.I was a rank holder all through,but there were not many celebrations.My mother used to make some sweets,that was more than enough for me.
Affluence has made many new practices.Needed or not,is not a question at all.If you want to do it,just do it.

Kiran Bajaj Sawhney said...

You have grown up with some high values given to you by your parents. And it shows. Yes, such graduation parties are unheard of, in India. But the trend is picking.

Harman said...

@ashwini..yaa may be ..you r right....
:)

Harman said...

@stranger ..yes..parties are fun but how abt ...before any professional degree?
:)

Harman said...

@rachna ..yep..
\I agree dear!

Harman said...

@thinking ...so sweet..something similar.
my mom usually made cake with icing and all decorations ..when I did something good and I was always proud of that!

Harman said...

@kavita...its common in india to throw small parties at home..for kids...I agree which is an encouragement...

Harman said...

@bick..yep...enjoy parties...forget the reason..lolz..
my problem is I cannot digest the reason ...for which the party is thrown.

Harman said...

@Dr anthony..
I agree Doc...my mom did same...
and sometimes a nice frock ..for my achievements.
:)

Harman said...

@kiran..thanks..
may be Indian family values!

STRANGER said...

It'd be fine if it is organised after securing a job but not at the cost of parents !