....I never understood this mentality or mental people who never hesitate and ask for favours .....you might have chatted with them just for few hrs in the whole year and do not know them personally But its strange when they say
*"hey Harman you can arrange a sponsorship for me to visit US,I will be so thankful"
I am like"hello do I really know you? its not possible I cant do that ..sorry about that"
*Friend"you know what ,I had heard that all Indians when they migrate to US ,UK or Canada or any other foreign country their blood also gets white in colour just like snow...
next one...another sample
*friend "hey how r u? can I ask you a favour plz plz...."
*Me.."ya go ahead ..what kinda favour??"
*Friend "you have a defence background ,could you please tell your dad that I want his Army canteen card to get some stuff on subsidised rates as it is very expensive in India hard to survive in this inflation...(these are those people who love their motherland)"
*Me"hey...are you ok? my dad will never do that or misuse the card ok ,Got it!"
*Friend"...ok ,a friend in need is a friend indeed ..I guess you don't fit in that slot.
*Me...Well I don't need to....
..I am not a people pleaser when it comes to breaking all the set of rules and going overboard.
Pleasing others and ignoring your own needs can affect your relationships with people, the things you do, the way you talk and more importantly the choices that you make in life. It can ultimately drain you emotionally and physically and even lead you to depression.
I was a people pleaser one time .....
I remember I was asked for help ...and I couldn't get it done due to legal hassles for which
I felt bad that I didn't say the word "NO" and resentful that the favour was a lot of extra work and time that I didn't have to spare. I feel angry and resentful at the friend for asking such favour's from me and at times I feel they are taking advantage of my kindness and the fact that I can't say no. Over time, I end up avoiding the friend altogether when the real problem is with me. It is an endless cycle of people pleasing. I don't always say it and admit it but I do let people take advantage of me. By always doing favours for others what I don't want to do and going out of my way to make others happy and ignoring my own needs, I am just leaving the door open for others to take advantage and manipulate me.which I dont want to do it now.
Since I am a mother, I know it's okay and I feel happy when I put the needs of my children before my own. However, when I constantly put the needs of others in front of my own - there's the problem. I mean well but if you're anything like me, your actions are sure to eventually lead you to anger and resentment. The solution to people pleasing is SELF EMPOWERMENT. You can't change other people but you can work on yourself.